Progress Report: LOTHAIRE LOTHAIRE LOTHAIRE OMG LOTHAIRE
Is 26% too soon to call it the best of the Immortals After Dark series?
Gotta go, LOTHAIRE is calling.
THE LOTHAIRE SNIPPET
No words. Just gifs.
P.S.: I got it from KC’s Facebook page, and you should TOTALLY follow her.
I was just like, “There was something that I meant to do today … “
And then I realized it was “Reread all the sex scenes from a paranormal romance from a few years ago.”
I should really keep a To Do list.
Back Cover Copy for Kresley Cole’s Lothaire (Immortals After Dark)
From her Facebook page:
ALL FEAR THE ENEMY OF OLD
Driven by his insatiable need for revenge, Lothaire, the Lore’s most ruthless vampire, plots to seize the Horde’s crown. But bloodlust and torture have left him on the brink of madness—until he finds Elizabeth Peirce, the key to his victory. He captures the unique young mortal, intending to offer up her very soul in exchange for power, yet Elizabeth soothes his tormented mind and awakens within him emotions Lothaire believed he could no longer experience.
A DEADLY FORCE DWELLS WITHIN HER
Growing up in desperate poverty, Ellie Peirce yearned for a better life, never imagining she’d be convicted of murder—or that an evil immortal would abduct her from death row. But Lothaire is no savior, as he himself plans to sacrifice Ellie in one month’s time. And yet the vampire seems to ache for her touch, showering her with wealth and sexual pleasure. In a bid to save her soul, Ellie surrenders her body to the wicked vampire, while vowing to protect her heart.
CENTURIES OF COLD INDIFFERENCE SHATTERED
Elizabeth tempts Lothaire beyond reason, as only his fated mate could. As the month draws to a close, he must choose between a millennia-old blood vendetta and his irresistible prisoner. Will Lothaire succumb to the miseries of his past … or risk everything for a future with her?
WHO writes this shit, because it certainly does not sound like Kresley Cole. I love romance novels and I have little shame about reading them but something about these back cover blurbs screams “Look at your life! Look at your choices!”
Also, I keep thinking that “Peirce” is a typo.
Nevertheless, I am STOKED BEYOND BELIEF.
Ali Reads the Sex Scene in A Hunger Like No Other by Kresley Cole
Ali: OH. MY. GOD.
Me: DID YOU GET THERE?
Ali: I’M READING IT RIGHT NOW
Me: READ READ READ!
Ali: WAIT, WHAT?
HE CAME … BUT NOT?
Me: I DON’T REMEMBER THE DETAILS HERE
YOU SHOULD JUST ASSUME HE HAS A LOT OF STAMINA
Me: ALSO THE SEX SCENE GOES ON FOR A BIT
IT DOES RATHER
I THINK THEY’RE DONE NOW
Me: THEY’RE NEVER DONE
Anyways, I hope it was worth the wait!
Ali: I think that’s my first wolfsex!
Me: Congratulations, you’re a woman now!
Romance Authors as Food Items
For no reason at all, several reviewers and I have decided to make a list of what foods romance authors would be if they were foods. Feel free to disagree or add your own in the comments/reblogs!
Jeaniene Frost - Domino’s Pizza. Say what you will, but I’ve never seen anybody turn down a slice. I could even go for some right now, actually.
Eloisa James - Berry pie. It’s deceptively simple and sweet, but it’s pretty difficult to get just right.
Jennifer Crusie - Like Ali said, mashed potatoes. They pretty much taste the same every time (with different toppings, for variety), but seriously, who doesn’t like mashed potatoes?
Loretta Chase - I suggested ratatouille (warm, hearty, comforting), but I think Melinda nailed it with red velvet cupcake. Rich, delicious, and super satisfying - but a bit naughty.
Leigh Greenwood - Sweet Texas BBQ. Even when it’s not great, it’s pretty damn good.
Laura Kinsale - Rachel says “the world’s finest souffle.” I think she’s a fan.
Naughty Nooners - Conversation hearts. They sound better than they taste. But you can’t stop eating them, because they’re THERE. And you probably got them for free.
Stephanie Laurens - Instant mashed potatoes. You think it sounds tasty and comforting, and then you start eating and UGH
Kresley Cole - Rachel suggested edible body chocolate and haggis. No. I say movie theater popcorn AND Milk Duds.
Gail Carriger - Petit Fours. Delicious and intricate and a bit old-fashioned and completely addictive.
Zoe Archer - Greek salad. Okay, this might have been influenced by the fact that one of her books was set in Greece, but it’s light, refreshing, and way more exciting than most salads.
Shana Abe - A single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat.
Marian Keyes - Homemade mac and cheese, complete with those buttery breadcrumbs on top. Some people think it’s a side dish, I call it dinner.
Nora Roberts - French toast with real maple syrup, and a side of bacon. Followed by a nap and mind-blowing sex. This was Ali’s suggestion, and I immediately put several Nora Roberts books in my TBR pile.