Sylvester, or Wicked Uncle by Georgette Heyer (Capsy Canadian Review)
First things first: I cannot be impartial about Georgette Heyer BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE HER SO HARD. She wrote about 50 books in the first half or so of the 20th century, some regency romances, some mysteries, and some other shit. So far I’ve read about 10 of her regencies and OMG THEY’RE SO GOOD. However! THERE IS NEVER ANY SEX. These are like, proper regencies, so if you’re here for the sexxing, Georgette is not for you. However, if you enjoy HILARIOUS EIGHTEENTH CENTURY SLANG then pick one up! (note: my personal favourite is Frederica).
There’s a quote on the cover of this one from Publisher’s Weekly, and it says something about frothy. YES. Georgette Heyer is the queen of froth in the best possible way. Her books are kind of like, Jane Austen’s lighter novels (P&P, Emma).
Anyways! So this book is about Sylvester and Phoebe. Sylvester is a duke, and he’s a pretty good dude, but he’s been a duke since he was 19, so he’s like, you know, maybe a bit arrogant. Also, he has distinctive eyebrows. THIS IS IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT. He has a mum who’s an invalid, but pretty awesome (she’s a poetess!) and a sister in law, and a nephew. His twin brother died several years ago, and left him as sole guardian of his nephew Edmund who is FUCKING HILARIOUS YOU GUYS. His sister in law, Ianthe is completely dumb, so it’s lucky that Sylvester has sole guardianship.
Phoebe is quite plain, and kind of mousey. She didn’t “take” during her first season and she’s back under the thumb of her not very nice step mother. Phoebe is super into horses and really funny (when she’s not scared witless by the stepmum). IN FACT! She’s so funny that she wrote a hilarious gothic novel about an evil duke WITH DISTINCTIVE EYEBROWS, with a nephew, and a poor downtrodden sister in law. OH HO
Anyways, so Phoebe and Sylvester are thrown together for various unimportant reasons and Phoebe pisses off the duke because she doesn’t treat him with all due deference and also starts to realize that he’s not an ass, and regrets sending off her manuscript to be published but then OMG IT’S TOO LATE, THE BOOK’S BEEN PRINTED!!1 So various hilarious adventures ensue, but in the end, they totes get together because obviously they are a match made in heaven.
Anyways, so like, all of Heyer’s books: no sex, same ending, and yet, the JOURNEY you guys. These people are all hilarious and you root for them and AGAIN THE SLANG IS SO GOOD. I frequently laugh out loud when reading her books, and this one was no different.
Ooooh this sounds delightful! I think I will have to read Frederica when it comes time for a historical again.
OMG THAT COVER! That guy is making actual ~*~*~*~*~ with his hands!
After having breezed through - actually devoured - this fantasy/romance series, I feel it’s only appropriate to review all the books together as a cohesive piece. You know, it’s hard to find good fantasy/romance series that follows one pair of lovers as they develop though the books. Sure you’ll find ‘series’ like those written by authors like Johanna Lindsey, Eloisa James, or Stephanie Laurens following families or friends, one book only dedicated to each character. And I am by no means criticizing this! These are frequently the staple of a romance-reader’s diet. But how refreshing is it to be able to follow a beloved pair of characters as they grow and develop continually through a whole series!? This is what C.L. Wilson provides us in her Tairen Soul series.
Starting with “Lord of the Fading Lands,” I will admit to a certain amount of skepticism in the beginning. *No Spoilers - don’t worry* I thought, ‘Giant winged fire-breathing cats? Puh-leez.’ Though, why I thought this, when I also read romantic stories about Dragons and the like, I’m not sure. But I quickly changed my mind as the book progressed.
The synopsis is essentially this… One thousand years ago, the evil mages of Eld tried to take over the world, and the faerie king, Rain Tairen Soul, nearly laid waste to the world when the woman he loved was killed in battle. And for 1000 years, he has remained sequestered behind the Faering Mists of the Fading Lands.
Ellysetta Baristani is a tall, plain girl of humble origin; the adopted daughter of a woodcarver and his wife. But growing up, she has always dreamed of the magical Fey of the Fading lands. Then one day, her life changes forever, when the yearly ambassadorial party from the Fading Lands arrives, for the first time accompanied by their king. Somehow this deceptively average girl calls to Rain in a way no other woman, mortal or immortal, ever had - a true soulmate. And as an ancient evil once again rises from the shadows, their love will be the key to saving the world.
(funny how it always comes down to that…..) [I know, right?]
So, with that to get me started, I was a bit skeptical. I thought that this would be pretty much just like every other fluffy romance I’ve read, with a ‘sort-of’ evil in there somewhere, but nothing amazing. Just something to create a plot-line. But here’s where Wilson surprised me.
The first book, granted, has the most fluff - but that’s mostly because everything is just beginning - the ugly hasn’t been let out of the box yet. But it’s certainly not boring. It’s a slow start, but then she starts throwing in political intrigue, different points of view (it’s not ALL just the two main characters - you get to see from the bad guy’s POV too) and some pretty dark magic. These are all hints, though, when compared to the big picture! C.L. Wilson does an admirable job of creating suspense through questions. What does this mean? What does that mean? OMFG I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED!! And thus, you’re hooked until the last book when every-thing’s answered.
“Lady of Light and Shadows” picks up a little bit more in the beginning since every-thing’s already been laid out for you. And before you know it, you’re at the end of Book 2, and freaking out because there have been even more jaw-dropping developments and you HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO start reading the next one ASAP.
Aside from the aforementioned reasons, another thing that impressed me about Wilson was her lack of fear when it came to blood and death. Thought the first chapter of the first book doesn’t hint at it remotely, this is not a series where happy fairy dust is everywhere and everybody makes it to the end and lives happily ever after (though there is a pretty schmultzy happily ever after anyway). No. There is dark magic, torture, blood, murder - basically some pretty heavy shit. Now, I’m a fan of Laurell K. Hamilton, and this doesn’t go anywhere near her level, but it certainly treads a lot closer than most other romance authors dare. Though, she does also balance it out with a few schmultzy tidbits - a unicorn here, a pegasus there, giant flying fire-breathing cats…. *shrug*
My only other critique would be that, perhaps the whole Love-Conquers-All theme is a bit trite - but it still all manages to balance out. And the sex scenes are great too. They’re not the BEST (panty-shakin’ erotica), but they’re still an entertaining diversion - evenly spaced throughout the books to keep things interesting.
All in all, I highly recommend this series. And by the time you’re done, you’ll be wanting more - especially since the author hints at that very thing. I don’t think C.L. Wilson is done writing about the Fading Lands just yet.
Our reviewer also sends along this message:
Hi there! I just wanted to introduce myself to the group! I’ve been following the Tumblr Romance Club for a few months and have been meaning to write some reviews and submit them. Now I’m finally getting around to it!
~journiesofthesoul (AKA Care.)
Thanks for submitting and we’re looking forward to more!
So I’m more than halfway through the first Kate Daniels book, and I gotta say, this is some pretty high-quality urban fantasy. You want to know how I know? Listen to what Kate is wearing:
I wore my work clothes: jeans loose enough to let me kick a man taller than me in the throat, a green shirt, and comfortable running shoes. Slayer [her bad-ass sword] rested in its sheath on my back, partially hidden by my jacket. The saber’s hilt protruded over my right shoulder, obscured by my hair gathered into a thick plait.
OH MY FUCKING GOD, FINALLY. THANK YOU, ILONA ANDREWS. FINALLY, a heroine who is not wearing leather pants that would show her ass crack if she breathes too hard. No mention of stiletto leather boots - which I’m sure are handy for hiding knives or whatever, but impossible to run in. I bet Kate is even wearing a sports bra and not like, a leather bustier or some shit.
Other paranormal and UF writers, PLEASE take note. Leather is a poor choice for slaying things. Ilona Andrews gets it.
This is the book my silly irresponsible head told me to stay up all night and read. I know. In the vein of the tumblr romanceclub I will now review it. Because I know everyone is so intrigued by that incredibly creative title.
The title is a pun (of sorts) because the book takes place in a small Louisiana town and the main family owns the town foundry. Get it? Hot? But also there’s a romance! Which was not really that hot. I mean it was hot-ish? If the romance was a cup of coffee it would be pleasantly warm but not steaming hot.
Anyway the novel starts with a man alone wrestling with demons. Flash forward to a scene featuring (men whom we learn are) his father and older brother as well as the family lawyer. They soon receive news the young man has killed himself.
Ok so that’s the mystery/suspense part because we soon discover it was really a homicide staged to look like a suicide. The mans sister comes home from San Francisco for his funeral. She hasn’t been back in 10 years because she absolutely hates her corrupt family. Oh, they’re really corrupt. They run the foundry that employs everyone in the town, bribe everyone etc etc You get the picture.
Her name is Sayre. Moving on…
ANYWAY Sayre (eye roll) feels bad because younger brother tried to call her a couple times a week before his death but she wouldn’t take the call. So she throws herself into trying to solve his murder. Oh and also bring down her whole family and the foundry. Which is not unionized and very unsafe. There’s a whole incredibly tedious OSHA subplot. OSHA violations are not exactly inherently interesting.
She’s also STRONGLY ATTRACTED to the family lawyer who’s name is Beck Merchant (cough) but is conflicted because he’s her hated family’s unscrupulous lawyer. He is also attracted to her because she has curly red hair and is very FIERY and PASSIONATE and you get it. They have like one hot scene together early on that sucked me in but then it was all pretty much YAWN.
Anyway deus ex machina we find out the killer is (SPOILER ALERTS) the older brother, which DUH. Then the father kills the older brother and has a nervous breakdown. Also the reason she hates the father so much is that he bribed a local doctor to perform a forced abortion on her when she was a teenager. Yikes. Also because he named her Sayre. I’m assuming.
The unscrupulous lawyer turns out to be the son of the man the father murdered like 25 years earlier who was a union organizer at the foundry. The son literally spent his whole life grooming himself to get in with the family as a lawyer, going so far as to attend the same college and frat older brother did, change his name etc etc in order to destroy them and avenge his fathers murder. Which is very Greek Tragedy. I mean that’s what Odysseus would do. But also kind of psychotic. But of course Sayre and him fall in love and with her older brother dead and dad going to prison she is the sole owner of the foundry and they ride off into the sunset on a cloud of soon to be implemented OSHA reforms.
I especially like the contrast between WHITE HOT and SANDRA BROWN. Now I’m thinking of an Australian shepherd. Which is an unpleasant thought to have coupled with “forced abortion.” Also, I’m pretty sure it’s standard that ANY character who runs a foundry is evil. Have you ever read the story of the sweet, mild-mannered foundry owner? 10 bucks says Sayre goes evil within a year.
Backstage Pass: Sinners On Tour, by Olivia Cunning
Okay, both the title and the pseudonym have me reeling. Olivia Cunning! Sinners on tour!
She’s a professor of Human Sexuality. He’s a guitarist for a popular heavy metal band. They meet up at a hotel where she’s attending a seminar and sparks fly.
I was leery at first, because of the over use of the phrases “dude” and “certified grade A pussy” within the first chapter. The whole thing started out super clichéd and over the top ridiculous, but it did back down some and was only slightly outlandish after the first two chapters or so. The sex is pretty freakin’ wild, though, I will say that for it. They do enough of it, in plenty of exhilarating places, that it’s really hot. We’re talking graphic sex, here, people; no inhibitions.
SO! The corny, it hurts. Let’s see…the drummer of the band is named Eric Sticks; I wish I were kidding [Me too.]. Our lady of the hour calls her lust-pumpkin’s penis “The Beast” more than once, because apparently he’s hung like a horse. She ends up having a quasi-threesome with he and a band mate, who walks in to take a piss while they’re boffing in the bathtub - like it’s totally something he sees all the time and joining is totally nothing unusual. There’s a couple of episodes of man-on-man action, another threesome, and a jealous ex-husband all in the mix, to boot.
But, the show stopper? Our hero figures out that boinking this woman brings out his musical muse and he gets carried away while they screw, insisting that he has to write the chords for new songs and guitar solos over her body while they’re happily thrusting away. Like…this is a feature of the plot, folks. It weirds me out!
So yeah. As far as bizarre goes, this book’s got it pretty bad. Anyone ever read fan fiction? Bueller? Anyone? This book feels an awful lot like that - too many characters, and too many sentences that are strange and out of place, aiming at making sure everyone knows how familiar “MarySue” is getting with the famous guys, in really adolescent ways. Lots of sex for the sake of sex. And a plot thrown in as an after-thought that happens to work pretty well.
Anyway, in the end, the book was endearing. A real bond forms between the couple of focus, some situational things pull them together through out the book, and that’s enough to save it from being a total train wreck.
The Chesapeake Bay Saga (ALL OF IT), by Nora Roberts - Capsy Canadian Review
Okay, so it’s not a secret that I am a big fan of Nora Roberts. Some people disagree, and that’s fine, whatever, I have no plans for world domination, so I don’t need everyone to like the same things I do. And I will admit that she is not always fantastic. But she’s put out so many books that I sort of forgiver her, because you can’t hit a home run every single time, right? Or something.
Anyways, so after the whole Romance Authors as Food thing, I was like, MAN, I NEED TO RE-READ SOME NORA. So acquired copies of her Chesapeake Bay Saga. The first three books - I don’t really like the fourth book because Seth is like, this world famous artist, and I don’t really believe it because his art doesn’t seem to involve piles of dirt or dead sharks or other things that I associate with successful contemporary artists.
ANYWAYS. So this ~*~*saga*~**~ is about the Quinn brothers. All three were adopted by Ray and Stella Quinn when they were like, 11-13ish, and have grown up to be fairly normal, cool guys, despite all of them coming from pretty terrible childhoods. The overarching story in the books is that Ray, a widower (Stella got the cancer several years ago) was in the process of adopting a 10 year old boy, when he died suddenly. His sons decide to band together to keep Seth.
As a heads up for book bargains, I got a this in my inbox this morning:
Great savings are no joke at eHarlequin. Come back on April 1 for a Freebie Friday deal you won’t want to miss: buy any 2 print books or more and you’ll get any 3rd book FREE! And if you’d prefer to shop for ebooks, we’ve got an offer for you, too: get an extra 5% off any ebooks! Come back April 1 for our one-day sale on print books and ebooks.
Yes, I perk up any time that I hear about eBook discounts. They are special snowflakes nowadays. I can’t tell from the ad whether the April Fool’s sale extends to Carina Press titles or not, but I’ll poke Angela James on Twitter to see if she’s heard one way or another.
Robin loves her boyfrend, Jay, and he wants to marry her. However, she’s had the not-so-secret hots for Patrick, a swarthy, strapping lumberjack (and as the song goes, that’s okay) who once saved her from a near-attack. When Robin doesn’t say yes to Jay’s proposal right away, he gives her permission to do the nasty with Patrick to get it out of her system—with the caveat that Patrick and she can do everything except paddle the pink canoe. Yessss! One of my favs—the “everything BUT” storyline. The story’s a little twisted, yes, but the characters are all angsty and butt hurt and full of sperm that must be withheld!! And there’s MAN SELF-LOVE—another of my favs! I would totally put the “OHHHHHHH” in onanism. And VOYEURISM! ZOMG!! Is it Christmas?!! So Robin and Patrick do alllllll kinds of things together, but the probing question is…oops, sorry, no probing. Never mind. I’ve heard that the saying, “Be careful what you wish for…you may just get it,” is really a curse, but I’m not seein’ the downside here. Well-written, good character development, you can almost taste the yearning between Robin and Patrick—thumbs up on this one for me.
To Desire a Wicked Duke, by Nicole Jordan - One Minute Review
Tess Blanchard and the Duke of Rotham have been at loggerheads for years—which, of course, means he’s secretly been wanting her to touch his rampaging manhood forevah—until one night when he slips her the tongue. And, as the Bible says, it was good, mainly because it was soon followed by some hot makeout action on the fainting couch. Unfortunately, they’re caught by crabby Lady Wingate who hasn’t see the back of a fainting couch for many a season, and they are soon forced to wed. Tess wants to keep her distance emotionally while taking full advantage of the all-you-can-eat peen buffet. Good luck with that, honey. Most of the story is spent on Tess trying to resist Rotham though her cho-cho seems to be unable to escape the black-hole gravitational pull of his mighty pork loin (mmmmm…pork…the other white meat). There’s a ghost/smuggler mystery thrown in, but that’s more or less inserted (yes, please do insert) to allow Tess to have a freak out and jump on Rotham’s weinerness one more time. Started out really good, sagged in the middle, and wrapped up okay, so you must love the historicals to get through this. I didn’t enjoy this as much as the other books in the “Courtship Wars” stories, but it was still a good read.
Have you read "The Raven Prince" by Elizabeth Hoyt? It's REALLY good if you're ever in the mood for a historical romance. It's one of my all time favorites. It involves a scarred, somewhat vulnerable earl, prostitution, masks, and most importantly hot fucking.
No, but based on the Amazon page it looks like pretty good! Apparently the hero is not conventionally attractive, which is always interesting. I’ll try to get to this next when I go back to historicals!
Thanks to everybody for your feedback yesterday, here’s what I ended up getting:
Magic Bites, by Kate Daniels: My friend Nancy read the first one and was so impressed that she got the next two in the series, and since she’s the one who led me to both Kresley Cole and Tempest Rising, I trust her judgment.
Tipping the Velvet, by Sarah Waters: We’ve discussed before that my experience in same-sex romance is pitiful, and this book looks fucking awesome.
When the Duke Returns, by Eloisa James: Like I said, I’m craving a James and this is the only one of the Desperate Duchesses series I haven’t read. Also, honestly, I was completely sold by this one-star review on Amazon:
Reading this book gave me the impression that Eloisa James had done extensive research on 18th century plumbing, and wanted to make the most out of that knowledge. Page after page is devoted to discussion of the disgusting, malodorous water closets. At one point our intrepid hero, the duke, is too repulsed to hit a man covered with poo and so he instead delivers him a roundhouse kick to the face. One of several roundhouse kicks to the face the duke uses to take down bad guys. I actually had to read that part aloud to my husband, so he too could partake in the ridiculousness. This is not a book I would recommend.
I’m afraid I have to disagree with you, aquatea, IF THAT IS IN FACT YOUR REAL NAME. There is nothing that says “must-read” like “extensive research on 18th century plumbing” and “several roundhouse kicks to the face.”
Have you read anything by Karen Hawkins? She does historical romance with a great sense of humor and LOTS of sex. LOTS. So much that I've almost been disappointed by every historical romance I've read after. In closing: time for Karen Hawkins reviews! Yes? My favorite one so far is "The Laird Who Loved Me."
I haven’t! I DL’ed a sample to my Kindle and I will check it out posthaste.
Also, just saying, if you’re dying for some Hawkins reviews you can always submit. If it’s your first time, I’ll be gentle.
HELP. ME. I am being a brave little toaster and valiantly fighting my way through Eloisa James's "Desperate Duchesses" which I am finding to be a vast desert of NO SEXY TIMES. Yes, I finally hit the sexual motherload but not until 75 percent of the way through the book (damn you, Kindle percentage counter!) whereupon I was hit by a tidal wave of bodily juices. My question--should I continue reading all the books in the series (because I do suffer from series-itis) or should I cut to the chase and head straight for "A Duke of Her Own" which I believe someone on Romance Club highly recommended. I do love The James, but this book was like hiking through peanut butter to get to the juicy jelly inside, and it hurt me. What say you?
First of all, take a deep breath. You’re okay. We’re okay. The sex is coming.
Now, I have to admit that I adored the first book in the series, because I thought Roberta’s father was hilarious and I loooved the world that she was creating, but you’re right. In terms of sex, it is a bit of a desert until 3/4 the way through. THIS IS THE BANE OF HISTORICAL ROMANCE. If you did not enjoy the roller coaster before the loops, then it may be time to get off the ride.
I have read most of the Duchess series, and the only one I did not like was the one with Jemma and Elijah (they all have terrible names and I cannot distinguish them). I really loved the one about Harriett (that one I THINK is Duchess by Night and get this, the hero’s name is Lord Justinian Strange), but the last one is by far the best.
You really have to be able to ~*~appreciate~*~ Villiers for his book to be really good, but you can probably do that after one book. It worked for me!
HOW. EVER. If this was not sexy enough for you (and I’ve seen the kind of books you read … ), then A Duke of Her Own may be a bust either way.
I’m reading The Duke and I and it’s pretty good, but I have realized that after this book, I will be out of books! Unless I finish the sexy Borgia book which … well, it’s not looking too good right now.
ANYWAYS. Here are some things from my TBR pile. What should I get?
Magic Bites (Kate Daniels Book 1) by Ilona Andrews: Okay this is another paranormal but I’ve heard SO MUCH about this series, I should check it out, right?
Key of Light, by Nora Roberts I have never read anything by Nora Roberts. Shameful, right? If you don’t recommend this Roberts, which one should I read? Crabby recommends River’s End, how about you?
Much Ado about You, by Eloisa James: Sometimes I just get a hankering for James, what can I say?
At Grave’s End (Night Huntress Book 3)by Jeaniene Frost: Okay how fucking ridiculous am I that I’m like “I don’t want too many paranormals!” and like, EVERY BOOK ON THIS LIST IS PARANORMAL ROMANCE. Still, I enjoyed this series so far and I would like to revisit it.
Tipping the Velvetby Sarah Waters: Lesbian historical fiction! Finally, something different.
Something totally different that you recommend: Let me know!
Are you on Goodreads? I just signed up today and love it! They have a whole community for The Immortals After Dark series.
I am not! I am trying to limit my internet addictions, what with Facebook, two Tumblr blogs, Words with Friends, Livejournal, and forums. But now I’m sorely tempted, especially since all of the cool kids are talking about it.
Kiss at Your Own Risk by Stephanie Rowe (Capsy Canadian Review)
So Jayne reads a lot more paranormals than me. By which I mean, she reads them. So I sort of figured maybe I should give them a try, and then this book landed in my sample cubby at work. And it sat on my desk for a while, and then it hung out in my purse for I’m not sure how long, and then I went to an appointment, and I was a bit early, and the person I was meeting was a bit late, so I pulled it out and started in on it. And I was laughing pretty much from the get-go.
The story is a bit complicated to explain, but basically it’s about Trinity and Blaine [Welcome to Paranormal Nameville]. Trinity was cursed as a baby with Black Widowhood. Whenever she falls in love with a guy, she sees this hologram that shows her how to kill him and then she is compelled to do so. But if she can not kill a guy for 5 years, then she’s free of the curse. But only if she doesn’t kill 5 guys. Then she’s stuck as a Black Widow FOREVERRRRRRRRRR. She has a week left in her five years, and she’s killed 4 guys so far. So you can see that there’s a bit of pressure. Blaine has been a captive of this horrible witch for 150 years. She kidnaps dudes and tortures them. For… frankly, stupid reasons. She’s pretty much taking out her heartbreak on, well, innocent children she kidnaps.
Anyways, so for various reasons Blaine and Trinity have to team up and kill a bunch of people. But Trinity’s super conflicted about killing, and they keep getting attacked by magical monsters. Also, they totally have the hots for each other, but Trinity really doesn’t want to kill him and Blaine has trust issues with women, for obvious reasons.
Anyways, so it’s pretty hilars, and the sexual chemistry is fantastic, and I really enjoyed the world Rowe created. PLUS THERE’S A SEQUEL COMING THIS SUMMER YOU GUYS! A total win!
Also, in just a few weeks will be the RT (Romantic Times) Booklovers’ Convention. This year it’s right here in L.A. Costume parties, book signings, MR. ROMANCE COVER MODEL PAGEANT. You heard me. Cover. Model. Pageant.
I actually did know this existed (I think it's been near here every year). HOWEVER, saying it's in "Denver" is full of lies. I believe it's actually near the Denver airport. Which, as you know, is more like Kansas. Maybe I'm just letting my bitterness about the airport color my judgment here.
Most relevant is that there's an event called Chocolate Mangasm™.
Seriously, I’m going to be trolling Southwest for discount fares. You don’t mind if I crash on your couch for a week couple of days, right?
Seven Secrets of Seduction, by Anne Mallory (A Capsy Canadian Review)
So at first I was super excited about this book, because it’s about a nerdy bookish girl. NERDY BOOKISH GIRLS!! I don’t know anyone like that. At all. *shifty eyes* Miranda works at her uncle’s book shop, in an unspecified time in London. It’s probably regency era-ish. Her fav book lately is this book about seduction by a guy with a Greek name that I can’t remember right now. And then this ~*~dark and dangerous~**~ type comes in and basically makes fun of her for defending it and flusters her. He turns out to be a scandalous lord, which is even more flustering. And then he hires her services to reorganize his library. And he’s determined to seduce her. Doesn’t that sound fun?! So, obviously it turns out that Maximillian (Maxim for short) is not just a scandalous lord, but you know, has ~*~*FACETS*~*~ which I would spoiler for you, but they aren’t really super exciting. And to be honest, this book ISN’T super exciting. But it’s sort of a fun look at a seduction. It’s more sensual than sexual, which I probably wouldn’t want in EVERY romance novel, but it was a fun break. And the writing got a bit purple sometimes, but you know, such is life. Apparently there is a sequel, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to read it. Maybe when I’ve reduced my pile a bit though.
I don't know if you guys know about this but... I just found out today and I was shocked to find out there was a convention for romance novels and the readers who love them! It's called RomCon and it's in Denver and they have some cool stuff. You should check out the website.
I knew about RomCom, but I doubt that my Denver contributor, Melinds, did. I am now seriously considering a pilgrimage …
ETA: I just read the website and there is something called a Chocolate Mangasm.
I've gotten 15 pages into fuckyeahterriblegayerotica. I've already spit water onto my computer twice. There are more, um, bizarre storylines involving Lucius and Draco Malfoy then I'd ever care to imagine. The site is hilarious yet completely terrifying. I don't know whether to thank you or bleach my brain. Probably both.
Belonging to Them, by Brynn Paulin - One Minute Review
Yes, I’m on the run from my abusive ex-boyfriend and scared to death because he’s stalking me, and he’s going to KEEEEEL me. My car breaks down in Daly, Wyoming where the ratio of men to women is 541:7, and the mechanics will fix my car if I agree to sleep with them. All FOUR of them. (Hey, no judging here. Quid pro quo makes the world go ‘round.)
And they’d probably fix my car anyway, because, really, they’re nice. And SAFE. TOTALLY SAFE—you can tell by their Irish accents. So let me think about it…mmmmokay.
But I only really love one of them ‘cuz he’s my SOUUUUUUL MATE, with his scarred face, prosthetic leg, and undamaged, drill-like peen [emphasis mine]. And he loves me, too, but still wants to watch me get whut-whut-up-the-butt ‘cuz it makes him hot. But we only kiss each other ‘cuz that’s our speshul “thing.”
Ummmm…she’s doing THREE OTHER GUYS, duuuude! Do you realize where those lips have been?!
Dirty, nasty mechanic sex and a lube, oil, and filter—what more could a girl ask for?
This story is kinda like when you sneak up to your room to quickly masturbate without your significant other because you just wanna get a one-off and you don’t want to invest a lot of time. Easy in, easy out. Pure brain porn.
- Book 7 of the Dark Hunter series Sorry dudes, but the first book is not picking up in quality. I will keep reading, though, because I care enough to finish. And I want to give it a second chance.
- Tempest Rising by Nicole Peeler. I’ve been interested for a while and my awesome friend Nancy told me that the first one was pretty good, although she (accurately) described the cover as “Lisa Frank meets BRATZ.” Thank dog for e-readers. It’s also $3 on Amazon, so why not?
- The Duke and I by Julia Quinn. I do not know how I have not read this yet.
At first glance I thought this was a dragon-themed romance written by Clay Aiken. Uh, it’s not. Thankfully.
Read it, loved it, and promptly downloaded the next Dragon Kin book. Annwyl [I wish this was a Scrabble word] is a badass heroine (I know, I know, you’re rolling your eyes if you read a lot of paranormal, but hear me out). Her nickname is Annwyl the Bloody, and she earns it on the battlefield against her brother, who is a tyrant who wants her dead, and the kingdom under his complete rule.
Our hero, Fearghus, finds her dying on the battlefield, toasts her enemies, takes her to his home and helps her heal. He’s fascinated by the little human who should have run from him in fear. When she asks for his help to defeat her brother, he decides to train her. In the book, it’s an unknown that a dragon may take a human form, so Fearghus tells her that he has a knight who will teach her to control her temper, which is her downfall on the battlefield. Meanwhile, Annwyl is torn by her love for the dragon and her desire for the knight. There’s also humor in the form of Fearghus’ siblings, one of whom gets a bad case of indigestion from eating too many bad guys. The end of the book is a little choppy compared to the rest of the story, which is the only thing that detracted from it getting an A+. Also, if you’re used to your fantasy titles building slowly, you’ll find that Dragon Actually unfurls at a breakneck pace. This ain’t Lord of the Rings, guys.
Note: I read the nookBook version of this title, and it has two stories in one. I am not certain if the paperback version is the same. The second story is the backstory of Fearghus’ parents and their courtship, which was tumultuous. It’s a bit naughtier than Fearghus and Annwyl’s story – there’s some light bondage, so reader be aware. All in all, I give Dragon Actually an A…because I don’t want Fearghus to eat me.
The Duke and I - Julia Quinn
Wicked Deeds on a Winter's Night - Kresley Cole
Heaven, Texas - Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Scandal - Carolyn Jewel
(everyone's results may vary, no throwing books at me if you hate them, etc., etc.)
I would also second Dark Needs at Night’s Edge by Kresley Cole (or whichever the one with the ghost and the vampire is, all of the titles are horrible).
Also! This post is a pretty good list of books I would recommend for a n00b.
I could seriously sit here all day with the book recs, but unless you want me to repeat Eloisa James, Jennifer Crusie, Kresley Cole over and over, we’d better get some backup. Also, I’ve found that this is one topic where everybody loves to chime in. So: READERS!
Yeah, Grace is a little … strange that way. Fantasy Lover is not one of the better Dark Hunter novels. It doesn’t even really have anything to do with the Dark Hunters except that it happens in the same universe. They get better as they go.
That is the impression I got, and for science I DL’ed a sample of Seize the Night (starring Tabitha and a guy with a V name) and even the first 20 pages were a marked improvement. Fantasy Lover is picking up speed, and I think I’ll enjoy it, but if it’s okay to skip around I think I’m going to go to that one next.
I have a small box of titles that I’ve read and will not be re-reading, and I want to send them to someone who loves the genre as I do. There’s the good (Loretta Chase, Stephanie Laurens) and the not-so-good (older Johanna Lindseys, a couple Harlequins). I even have an out-of-print Black Lace title in there!
If you’re interested, first one to put your address in my askbox gets it— I’ll be at the post office today.
Y’all, I never would have thought that a seamy potboiler about the Borgias could be boring, but, well, here we are. I was really looking forward to this one, especially after Ali talked it up, but there is some serious ish that I’m having trouble with.
For starters, I am starting to suspect that the main character might be a sufferer of TSTL (Too Stupid to Live) Syndrome, particularly where her big crush, Cesare Borgia, is concerned, There have been moments when I have wanted to throw the book against the wall. Ali said that she has felt the same way in the particularly obnoxious sections, but she still loved the book and so I think I will press on.
I was also bugged by the fact that the heroine seems to have a distinct lack of personality of any kind, but Ali pointed out this is sort of a common problem with “fly on the wall” historical fiction - if this person was REALLY REALLY interesting, they would have gone down in history. Or something. You know.
And the prose, y’all. So purple. Some hilariously so. I’ve been taking notes.
Anyways, I have been promised that it does improve, and I will finish this book, but I am sorely tempted to go ahead and read Fantasy Lover as a pick-me-up since I’m only about a third of the way through.
Trapped in the Apartment (aka Melinds reviews a mediocre free book!)
So, I’m no R. Kelly. I didn’t create an R&B magnum opus about being trapped in my illicit lover’s household with midgets and cops. I’m just not that cool and I don’t like peeing on my underage spouse (to answer the question you just asked yourself: no. He’s 38). I’m a suburban wife who is really excited about her new dishwasher. BUT. At least I know that I need to get out of my house every now and then. To work, to do errands, to go out and have fun and do things called “having a life.” I don’t enjoy being trapped in closets, single-family homes, or apartments in the Midwest (I once stayed in a South Dakota basement apartment with some friends. That was a scary two days. I’m still here. Still here).
But the protagonists of Kiss Me Deadly have different ideas. Sure, there’s some story about Ravin being this witch slayer who has the DEADLY WITCH BLOOD that can kill vampires. She lives in an apartment in Minneapolis (important point). There’s Nikolaus, the vampire who she tried to slay with deadly blood bullets, but he survived, arisen as a phoenix (yes). And there’s Satan, to whom she owes a debt for giving her The Sight, allowing her to distinguish regular ol’ mortals from vampires by their auras. And this all could be the setup for an epic adventure…
IF THEY EVER LEFT HER FUCKING APARTMENT
There were times when I thought the book was verging on being good. When they’d delve into her family past. When we explored the depths of Nikolaus’s motivations. I was all, hey, I’m enjoying this! For this moment! But no. The story starts with some love potion she made, accidentally spilling on Nikolaus during the scuffle where he’s trying to exact his revenge, and then THEY NEVER LEAVE HER DAMNED APARTMENT. I’m all for some hot bedroom action, but occasionally, you want a change of scenery, you know? A park? A car? HIS PLACE? ANYTHING? I was getting fucking cabin fever.
As you might guess, I read this book as a free Kindle book. The unfortunate thing about Kindles is that you can tell what percentage you’re at within the book. It took until 75 PERCENT until the action of the story left the apartment (he left a couple of times to talk to his friend and get some roses or some shit, but then, of course, he comes back to the apartment). And then? When he sets up a romantic date, still influenced by the ~*~love potion~*~? IT’S ON THE ROOF. OF HER APARTMENT BUILDING. Jesus Christ. No, that wasn’t just frustration; I was praying at this point. That was a prayer. For them to go SOMEWHERE ELSE FOR GOD’S SAKE. Like a restaurant? Movie? Get some fucking popcorn and LET ME LEAVE YOUR MINNEAPOLIS APARTMENT PRISON.
And they did. Eventually. After all the spell-breaking and motive-questioning and damsel-in-distress scenarios. But then? Of course? THEY COME BACK TO HER APARTMENT. So maybe I’ve spoiled this story for you, but if you totally love the idea of everything taking place all in one spot with more groin movement than plot movement, you might enjoy this story.
Tempting the Fire, by Sydney Croft - One Minute Review
"Tempting the Fire"? I would be more apt to call this "Fire in the Hole!" Love me some Sydney Croft because of the hot sex and sexual tennnnnnsion, and this book is de Post Man because it delivers. The main h/h are going at it; the secondary h/h are going at it; and the third h/h are going it—hmmmm, I feel some "private" Weena time coming on. This book could be read as a standalone, but I would recommend reading the other four/five books in the series so you know what the hell is going on. ACRO is like the CIA for people with extra abilities—super strength, mighty vaginas, ability to warp weather, magic ball sacs, etc., etc., etc. Sela and Logan are the main couple—Sela is looking for a man-killing chupacabra, and Logan happens to have one…kinda. His company accidently let it go, another company wants it, and he needs to find it, too. Sela and Logan engage in a lot of sex because that’s what you do when you’re hunting wascally chupas. Or so I read.
With the secondary couple, Chance (Navy Seal) gets bitten by the chupa and becomes half man/half chupa, and Marlena is the only person who is able to tame his beast. By having a llllllllllllllllottaaahhhh sex. Because that’s what you do when you get bitten by a chupa. Or so I read. The third couple, Annika and Creed, have shown up in previous books, and their sex is incendiary, mainly because Annika’s secret power is the ability to electrocute people. Creed is able to handle the charge with his AC/DC conduit of a penis. They have major ninja sex several times because that’s what you do in these books. I’m a sucker for the action—though I had to really put my belief on hold for sweaty, dirty jungle sex. I don’t even like camping, man. I know—I can totally buy the chupacabra story line, but jungle sex…not so much. Another good book by Team Croft.
This one goes out to all my RCers with their mighty vaginas and conduit cocks. Show some love for Weena, okay?
For proper young ladies, good behavior has always been the rule…
Captain Bradshaw Carroway loves the seafaring life—though he’d rather be battling brigands than his current assignment of ferrying a boatload of spoiled aristocrats. One passenger, however, has caught his eye: a bewitching young minx who definitely distracts him from the rules of shipboard decorum …
Some rules, of course, are meant to be broken.
Miss Zephyr Ponsley has traveled the world, but she’s completely innocent in the ways of love. She’s never learned to dance or flirt. But scientific observation has taught her that the laws of attraction have no rules, and that no adventure, on land or sea, is more dangerous—or delicious—than passion!
So I really like this book. As soon as I read it I sent a message to Wellofcromulence [RC’s altar ego] telling her that I wanted to review it. But I had to re-read it first!
So Captain Bradshaw Carroway is the brother of two of Enoch’s earlier hero’s but those stories aren’t vital to this one. This book is also a part of her Adventurers Club series.
Anyways, onto the story … Captain Carroway is a captain in the British Navy. Yes, imagine the uniform, I’ll wait… yep. He is a strong man with a soft side, but his soft side actually comes with a back story. He gets sent to the Pacific with his big ship (hehe) [hurr hurr] and has to play captain of a passenger ship for a bunch of spoiled aristocrats and Zephyr [what a name!] and her father, a renowned scientist who wants to explore the botany of the Pacific. Zephyr has been following her father around, acting as his assistant and basically has no social skills. When they first meet, she says something snarky and catches the Captains attention. Skip forward and everyone is on the boat, going to the islands and exploring. The Captain is always worried about Zephyr and she is experiencing new “feelings”. They flirt, he tells her that she can’t do anything to endanger herself, she gets angry for his high handedness, etc. The flirting scenes were well written and not too fast or too slow. The sexy sex is toward the end of the book and it is pretty typical of a romance novel. There is plenty of action and of course they fight the eviiiiiil French.
I really like Enoch’s writing and how she went into different themes that were present during the time period. I feel like she did a bunch of research on boats and the European explorers.
In conclusion. Read this. There is good dialogue, lust, love, action, adventure, science, sex. This will be a book that I keep in my re-read pile.
I bear glad tidings of free eBooks of the legal variety via eBookNewser, and Harlequin:
http://www.mediabistro.com/ebooknewser/category/free-ebooks and http://www.patentyourkiss.com/explore-harlequin.aspx The HQN giveaway has some heavy hitters, including Gena Showalter, Anne Stewart, Heather Graham, Lori Foster, and Julie Kagawa. :D
You guys! Check this out! FREE THINGS WOOOOO!!!!!!